she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
