you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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