Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
