porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
