Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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