Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
