how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
