Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
