I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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