Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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