My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
