Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
