I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize