no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
