I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
