i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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