Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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