I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
