Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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