Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
