I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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