Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If that was your dad, he is hot
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
