Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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