Whod you bang
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
