how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
