so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
