If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
