Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
