it wasn't lemon gatorade
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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