I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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