I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize