I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
