do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
