respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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