Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
