he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
