Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
