Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm too high and old for this...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
