your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
