So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
