On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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