i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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