He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
