so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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