2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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