Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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