So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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