can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
