No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He did a backflip because drugs
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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