Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
