You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
