Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
