There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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