with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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