My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
