We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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