Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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