I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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