i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
