She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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