thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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