I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
